Generated by All in One SEO v4.9.7.2, this is an llms.txt file, used by LLMs to index the site. # Worn Stories A Collection of Stories About Clothing and Memory ## Sitemaps - [XML Sitemap](https://wornstories.com/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website. ## Pages - [Watch the show on April 1st!](https://wornstories.com/) - [Press](https://wornstories.com/news-press/) - Exclusive: A New Netflix Show Tells the Stories of the Clothes We Keep The Cut, March 16, 2021 This Year's Best Books For Everyone In Your Life Buzzfeed, December 5, 2017 Aubrey Plaza on the Job That Really Didn't Work Out Elle, November 30, 2017 5 Fab Books on Fashion Chicago Tribune, November 26, 2017 - [About the Project](https://wornstories.com/about/) - Our clothes are full of memory and meaning. That’s why we all have garments—hanging in our closets, shoved in the back of drawers, and boxed up in garages—which we haven’t worn in years but just can’t part with. And there are the clothes we wear every day whose stories are still unfolding. Everyone has a - [Books](https://wornstories.com/books/) - Worn Stories Everyone has a memoir in miniature in at least one piece of clothing. In the New York Times best seller WORN STORIES (2014), Emily Spivack has collected over sixty of these clothing-inspired narratives from cultural figures and talented storytellers. First-person accounts range from the everyday to the extraordinary, such as artist Marina Abramovic on the - [TV Show](https://wornstories.com/tv-show/) - Trailer Teaser WORN STORIES—adapted from Emily Spivack’s New York Times best selling book— explores the often-overlooked memoirs in miniature living inside cherished articles of clothing from inspiring cultural figures and talented storytellers. By turns funny, tragic, poignant, and celebratory, each episode is based on a theme and features a mix of dynamic interviews, beautifully animated - [#wornstories](https://wornstories.com/instagram-feed/) - [Terms and Conditions](https://wornstories.com/terms-and-conditions/) - I have permission to submit this content and allow Worn Stories to share this content on their website. ## Your Stories - [Emma Davenport](https://wornstories.com/your_story/emma-davenport/) - Clothes are opportunities to become someone else, to transform ourselves into a range of ‘selves’ from the ideal to the fantasy. When I saw this Patagonia turquoise jacket with its royal blue fleece lining and Treepeople badge, I imagined myself as a well dressed camper, equipped for anything the environment might throw my way. At - [Maia Deccan Dickinson](https://wornstories.com/your_story/maia-deccan-dickinson/) - I found the sweater at an elevation of nearly 12,000 feet, high up in the Himalayas. We’d arrived in the Indian village of Leh after three months in the southern subcontinent. My father had always described Delhi to me as hot enough to cook an egg on the street, but the temperature had plummeted nearly - [Kelley Alison Smith](https://wornstories.com/your_story/kelley-alison-smith/) - There is a threadbare boys’ Vespa shirt on my dresser. It’s goldenrod yellow with a 70s font and navy piping on the shoulders and sleeves – the kind of shirt that places like Urban Outfitters reproduce for people who won’t condescend to shop in actual thrift stores. If it were 1992 and I were still - [Tessa Love](https://wornstories.com/your_story/tessa-love/) - When I graduated from college, the euphoria of accomplishment and endless summer wore off like a temporary tattoo. My predisposition towards impatience settled in and I made the hasty decision to jet off to Istanbul for two months, leaving just two weeks after I walked across the stage in a big robe and tasseled hat. Ten days - [Holly Botner](https://wornstories.com/your_story/holly-botner/) - Panic sets in when the need arises to dress for an event. Last minute shopping for a holiday gala sent me to Ogilvy's in a tizzy. As ridiculous as it sounds now, I walked out the proud new owner of designer pink snakeskin pants with shimmering scales. How I imagined that these dressy jeans would - [Candice](https://wornstories.com/your_story/candice/) - As far as I can remember, wearing heels was always a childhood desire of mine: the softness of the leather upon my skin, the undulation of the sole shaping my foot, the height of the polished, thin wooden heel enhancing my silhouette. While wearing my mother’s heels-- and despite my clumsy walk due to their - [Colette Neumann](https://wornstories.com/your_story/colette-neumann/) - As a kid, I couldn’t imagine a cooler job than being an astronaut. You’re paid to be shot into space. Space. How cool is that? I still think about what it’d be like looking down at the earth from the moon or the space station windows. Watching the sun break over the edge of our - [Cera Lee](https://wornstories.com/your_story/cera-lee/) - A peculiar thing happens when you lend a sweater to someone-- once they wear it, it’ll never be the same again. The arms and torso will be stretched out in a foreign way, and it’ll be infused with their scent. If they wash it before they return it, their smell will be even more apparent; - [Rachel Safko](https://wornstories.com/your_story/rachel-safko-2/) - Earlier this year, I went on a major cleaning jag, inspired by the old William Morris quote about having nothing in your house you don’t believe to be useful or beautiful. A notice posted on a telephone pole said spring cleaning swap at the Greenpoint Public Library. So I packed up a shopping cart’s worth - [Samantha](https://wornstories.com/your_story/samantha/) - It was my first half marathon, the Love Run on the Schuylkill River. It was a huge accomplishment, paired with my upcoming graduation from Penn. This tin foil is the quintessential image for running a marathon. I remember not feeling my legs and sweating yet feeling cold at the same time. You can just envelope - [Paige](https://wornstories.com/your_story/paige/) - Whenever I start sweating I take the cardigan off. I have taken loving care of my thin, white cardigan since I was in seventh grade, when I added this garment to my huge collection of nearly useless cardigans. Living in Mission Viejo, Southern California, the warm weather meant that I really didn’t need another cardigan, - [Sonia](https://wornstories.com/your_story/sonia/) - I used to get excited by the alligator on the left side of my father’s jacket when I was a girl. We lived in the country—in Lehighton, Pennsylvania—and there weren’t too many alligators out there. As a country girl, I knew little about fashion and upscale designers. I had no idea that this alligator was - [Julia](https://wornstories.com/your_story/julia/) - When I put on the blue cocktail dress I first wore at my high school formal now, I don’t always think of my disappointed, embarrassed, hurt mother. Waking up on the morning of the formal, I knew I’d be spending the day studying for my last exam of high school, while resisting the urge to - [Jessie](https://wornstories.com/your_story/jessie/) - Two years ago, I bought a light tan jacket with large gold buttons on it. It’s beautiful and intact; the gold buttons have an insignia and markings that make it resemble laurel wreaths from afar. I bought it from Buffalo Exchange during a time when I was building a wardrobe. I was excited to find - [Becky](https://wornstories.com/your_story/becky/) - My mom and I were going to a favorite chocolate shop in Whitby, England, the coastal town in the northeast where my grandparents had lived. Exhausted from the visit, and from the ongoing transatlantic relationship problems I was dealing with, this floral dress in the window of the adjacent clothing store caught my eye. The - [Zac](https://wornstories.com/your_story/zac/) - I got this shirt in my hometown, Hizkong, on the first break I had when I was a freshman at Vassar. I was at a thrift store with my twin brother Nick, and I guess I picked it because I wanted to build a new wardrobe, as so many other freshmen do. It was a - [Eva Garcia Rodriguez](https://wornstories.com/your_story/eva-garcia-rodriguez/) - This watch belonged to my grandmother. I still remember when, as a child, she got ready to go out and told me that it was made from gold and precious crystal stones. I did not quite believe her, but it made me dream. Now, while she is not here, this watch stays with me. I - [Rosalind Jana](https://wornstories.com/your_story/rosalind-jana/) - My grandma appeared on Doctor Who once. She played President of the Earth. It’s the kind of fact that gets people talking - easy to flourish up at the right moment. She appeared in the 1973 Frontier in Space sequence, back when Jon Pertwee was racketing around in the Tardis with Katy Manning (Jo) at - [Arianna](https://wornstories.com/your_story/arianna/) - My name's Arianna, the object that I brought are these beautiful Christian Louboutin shoes. I brought them not because they're beautiful and not because they're Christian Louboutin shoes but I brought them because they are the inception of a business and a life for me. I've had them for 10 years, they're not my size, - [Amy DuFault](https://wornstories.com/your_story/amy-dufault/) - These shorts were from third grade, when I was a young bully and my guidance counselor had said that my parents needed to get me involved in something. So, they got me involved in the Cotuit track club on Cape Cod. I ended up thinking that I was the best runner ever and it empowered - [Ian Were](https://wornstories.com/your_story/ian-were/) - Clothes take on part of the wearer, a memory by way of perspiration, blood, or traces of other bodily liquids, evident through a scent or stain. Small scenarios like that particularly apply to our intimate wear. Sweat, urine and preseminal and vaginal fluids leaking a little into our underclothes can be found almost at any - [Anne Marie DeVito](https://wornstories.com/your_story/anne-marie-devito/) - My best friend, Kel, called it the butterfly dress. It was ballet slipper pink, strapless, with butterflies scattered in a rainbow of colors. Made of the thinnest cotton, it was almost translucent in a certain light. The dress made me look younger than I was, but not as young as I felt. I wore it - [Kim Shipley](https://wornstories.com/your_story/kim-shipley/) - I got these the week after Thanksgiving last year. This was a particularly difficult time for me emotionally. I had just informed my now ex-husband that I was filing for divorce three weeks prior, and we spent Thanksgiving dinner together at a Golden Corral. I remember very vividly getting a bowl of macaroni and cheese and - [Jared Wheeler](https://wornstories.com/your_story/jared-wheeler/) - This is my first Obey shirt. Obey is a brand that most skaters wear, but is also worn by anyne who likes items from this store called Zumies. This shirt is my favorite because I bought it during my junior year and it was was the first Obey shirt I ever bought. I thought a - [Barbara K. Lerman](https://wornstories.com/your_story/barbara-k-lerman/) - I come from a long line of tenacious women, which brings to mind the famous line attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt, "A woman is like a tea bag—you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." For my family I would tweak that to: "A woman is like a matzoh ball—you - [Angelique Posey](https://wornstories.com/your_story/angelique-posey/) - Living in Wisconsin, it is very hard to be a Pittsburg Steelers fan. It is even harder when the Packers and the Steelers are both in the Super Bowl. That is just what happened a few years ago. Every store had the Super Bowl t-shirts on their racks and of course I had to buy one. - [Darian Jason Christian](https://wornstories.com/your_story/darian-jason-christian/) - Anyone who knows me well knows I’m a wrestling fan. I eat, sleep and breathe wrestling. However, I don’t own many wrestling t-shirts. Partially because I never found the need to have one. My friends weren’t wrestling fans so in all honesty I never felt the need to flaunt my so called “Wrestling Fandom” . - [Sharlea Baumeister](https://wornstories.com/your_story/sharlea-baumeister/) - There's a lot I'm not willing or ready to let go of. I even still have the teddy bear that my father gave me the day I was born. Another thing that means a lot to me is my old EMT shirt. I am currently working as a paramedic and I remember going through EMT - [Jackie DeLeon](https://wornstories.com/your_story/jackie-deleon/) - When you have a child your life changes dramatically. I was 20 years old, nervous about everything that came with having a kid and going through the pregnancy. Everyone told me horror stories. I would listen to the old wives' tales about what you feel and do when you are pregnant, and how it affects - [Kristin O'Keefe](https://wornstories.com/your_story/kristin-okeefe/) - When I was a child, Nigeria meant stacks of cloth in my mother’s closet. My mother is not African. She’s of Welsh-Irish-Assorted ancestry; most of her early life was spent in St. Louis. Her first international trip was a big one. She was 22 in 1962; one of the early waves of Peace Corps volunteers - [Lonell McGhee](https://wornstories.com/your_story/lonell-mcghee/) - I have a t-shirt that I got personally spray-painted. On the front of the shirt it says “BIG BRO OF #24”. The reason this shirt has a significant meaning is because my little brother’s basketball team had made it upstate to the playoffs and I wore the shirt to support him. The shirt has gotten - [Lynn Jarrett](https://wornstories.com/your_story/lynn-jarrett/) - I last wore this pretty linen dress on April 19, 1995, a day I will never forget. I knew I would only be able to wear it a few more times this season before the weather got too hot, when the linen would start to make me itch and be too uncomfortable. I headed into - [Driely S.](https://wornstories.com/your_story/driely-s/) - This is not just a shirt, it is an armor. A bloody shield capable of preventing all damages coming from outside. But beyond that, it protects me from my own self, my own mistakes. I'm incapable of keeping myself safe from love. I was wearing Iggy, so I would not have to say out loud - [Laura H. Elliott](https://wornstories.com/your_story/laura-h-elliott/) - This morning, as I put on my jacket, I knew what my story would be. More of an over-sized shirt than a jacket, it is salmon colored with flat mother of pearl buttons running up the front. The cloth is a light weight linen and large, black, stick-figured giraffes and porcupines are sketched across the - [Jessica Stockwell](https://wornstories.com/your_story/jessica-stockwell/) - I recently attended an annual holiday dinner. I wore my blue velvet shirt and black velvet pants, and my fluffy blue boa—my uniform for the month of December. I live in Istanbul, Turkey, and this is the third annual company holiday dinner I’ve attended. I wasn’t sure if I was going to feel like attending - [Necole Jadick](https://wornstories.com/your_story/necole-jadick/) - When I was 22, I moved across the country to San Francisco. My best friend from high school had moved there after college, and I was so excited to join her in this new city. She was like a sister to me for many years, and I was ready to embark on an amazing experience - [Brendan Sweeney](https://wornstories.com/your_story/brendan-sweeney/) - Before January 2014, if you asked me about the clothing items that had deep personal meaning to me, I probably would have talked about old music tees and hoodies that connect my adult-self to my teenage punk rock days. But the most important and meaningful article of clothing in my family right now belongs to - [Tayla Burney](https://wornstories.com/your_story/tayla-burney/) - My grandfather had impossibly strong hands, the hands of a man who built things. He used his skills to found a construction company-turned-hardware and home store in the city where I grew up. Successful for decades, the business had slowed and he was scaling back by the time I turned 14. But as soon as I - [Michael Martinez](https://wornstories.com/your_story/michael-martinez/) - There are times when a radio station needs a little levity. I can never predict exactly when I’m going to need the cowboy hat that I keep in my desk area. I just kind of know the moments when I see them. The Team Kojo Cowboy Hat ™ was procured when Kojo visited Colorado for - [Kathy Goldgeier](https://wornstories.com/your_story/kathy-goldgeier/) - With a blizzard heading for Boston and the chance of significant snow in D.C., I found my mind running a quick check on the location of these snow pants, which I’ve had since high school. They’ve been down the blue diamond runs at Squaw Valley in my years right after college. They’ve been cross-country skiing in - [Erica R. Hendry](https://wornstories.com/your_story/erica-r-hendry/) - Of all the obvious similarities between my paternal grandmother and I—our incredible height, long legs, and nose, among others—people often mentioned our hands first. They’re almost identical, save the 63 years between us: Long and delicate with strong nails, slim fingers and a certain curve that suggests elegance and grace (Don’t be fooled: I’m deceivingly clumsy). - [Elizabeth Weinstein](https://wornstories.com/your_story/elizabeth-weinstein/) - I bought this Eddie Bauer coat in 1996 to insulate myself from the harsh Chicago winters I’d be experiencing as a Northwestern University graduate student. I always felt a little like Barney, the big purple dinosaur, whenever I pulled it on. But in 1997, I was thankful for it: While doing a reporting project in - [Chris Chester](https://wornstories.com/your_story/chris-chester/) - Cardiology is kind of my thing. I’m not a doctor or anything, but I have had two open heart surgeries, which is not something most people under the age of 30 can boast. Perhaps because heart disease is a topic usually associated with grim prognoses and chronically ailing grandparents, I tend to serve as a - [Susan Faye](https://wornstories.com/your_story/susan-faye/) - A sweet old teddy bear by the name of Mr. Smokey is the proud keeper of an outfit I cannot part with: a little crocheted baby outfit in buttery yellow that I made 28 years ago for my unborn child. When I was pregnant, I almost lost my baby at the six-month mark and was - [Kathlenn Hood](https://wornstories.com/your_story/kathlenn-hood/) - I got this dress from a thrift shop in Hayward, California when I was 19 years old. It was the very first piece of clothing that I, a slightly overweight, and also somewhat awkward college sophomore, bought on my own without the stigmas that I had carried with me throughout life dictating my purchase. It - [Eli Mellen](https://wornstories.com/your_story/eli-mellen/) - I accidentally amassed a small collection of red handkerchiefs. My mother was diagnosed with cancer when I was young; I was so young that I never knew my mother apart from her diagnosis — she and it were, to me, one and the same. She died when I was in the 2nd grade. After she died, my - [Mariah Kaiser](https://wornstories.com/your_story/mariah-kaiser/) - I’m an animal lover, plain and simple, and I have been since I was a child. Growing up in a home of hippies has made me love animals not for their meat or their fur, but for their personalities, whether it’s dogs, cats, horses, or Lovey, our pet lizard who ran away after my kid - [Taylor Laurich](https://wornstories.com/your_story/taylor-laurich/) - When I was young, my family and I would take road trips to visit my Dad’s side in Duluth. On our long journey my father would always play the classics; Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan, Neil Young. Listening to these songs made me feel as if I had magical insight into what my dad’s life was - [Gates Sanford](https://wornstories.com/your_story/gates-sanford/) - When the first Patagonia fleece that zipped all the way down came out, my dad bought one for his mother. She wore it while she raked leaves in the fall, flicking off my dad’s friends, joking with the neighbors, and smoking cigarettes. When she passed from cancer, my dad repossessed the fleece, and started wearing - [Cyndi Ouellette](https://wornstories.com/your_story/cyndi-ouellette/) - The first concert I ever went to was when my parents took my sister and I to see MC Hammer when I was just six years old. My eight year old sister and I got decked out in our "Hammer Pants” and I even brought my MC Hammer doll with me. Though I don't remember - [Chris Haughton](https://wornstories.com/your_story/chris-haughton/) - My friend, Safia, runs the fair trade company People Tree. On one of her speaking engagements she was to meet the Dalai Lama. She thought it would be good to give him a gift of some kind. She wanted to give him some nice fair trade People Tree clothes but as the Dalai Lama only - [Mike Samo](https://wornstories.com/your_story/mike-samo/) - I first got my pair of Chuck Taylors for my senior prom, and ever since they have been my all-time favorite shoes. My three best friends and I got them together and they will forever bring me right back to the good ole days. - [Andrea C. Anastasi](https://wornstories.com/your_story/andrea-c-anastasi/) - It all happened so quickly. The entire year was a blur of chaos and constant motion. That didn’t really change after it was all over. It felt like we were running a race to put it all behind us and finally breathe. But the sudden disappearance of his clothes after it happened made me lose - [Curtis Rivard](https://wornstories.com/your_story/curtis-rivard/) - This is a shirt that means quite a bit to me. It was given to me by my father when I was a child, and I've held onto it all these years even though it was way too big to fit me. I am now 24, and it fits me perfectly. At the time that - [Catherine Bonner](https://wornstories.com/your_story/catherine-bonner/) - This is a classic "Boyfriend Jacket" that I found in a small women's clothing store in New Hampshire. It was the last one on the rack and quickly caught my attention, because the denim on the back of the jacket is cut out in the shape of a cross. It's different than any other jacket - [Francesco van der Zwaag](https://wornstories.com/your_story/francesco-van-der-zwaag/) - My first pair of perfect fitting Vans remind me of a nice holiday in France, back in 2008—Normandy, to be exact. I went there with my two best friends for three long weeks of camping. We went on lots of hikes and my Vans really became my close companions that holiday. The salt water of - [Joseph Foglia](https://wornstories.com/your_story/joseph-foglia/) - In 1985, at the age of nineteen, my two best friends from the High School of Art and Design convinced me to go with them to a Punk show at the Ritz in the East Village. At the time I didn't really care about Punk as I grew up in the then Latino Southside area - [Kaytlyn Colter](https://wornstories.com/your_story/kaytlyn-colter/) - This is the dress for my 21st birthday. This birthday was very special to me since it was the day I have been waiting for my entire life. I felt older. More mature. Finally into the 21+ club. Red is my favorite color. I really like how aggressive and powerful it is. - [Eva Spitzer](https://wornstories.com/your_story/eva-spitzer/) - When I was about eight years old, I was shopping at L.L. Bean with my family, which is near a lake camp we visit every year in Maine. I convinced my dad to buy me a pair of thick cotton tie dye socks, even though they were way too big. My mom said I would - [Linda Post](https://wornstories.com/your_story/linda-post/) - My favorite piece of clothing? Shoes just like the ones Wendy Davis wore, which I bought the day after the June 2013 filibuster in Texas. At the time no one was wearing brightly-colored shoes and it took me a little bit of time getting used to them. But for comfort and walking the dog 3 - [Terry Berkowitz](https://wornstories.com/your_story/terry-berkowitz/) - This is a fairly new memory, but it is about living in something and how one feels in what one inhabits. I do not have a particularly happy relationship with clothes since I am always battling weight. I learned early that shoes were my forte and finding the right thing to wear with them was - [Alex G. Brown](https://wornstories.com/your_story/alex-g-brown/) - $10 grab bag sales. That’s what my favourite used clothing boutique had become known for in my first year of university. Walk in, take a bag, and whatever you could fit in it was yours for $10. Naturally, I had become accustomed to raiding the place. That gold, glittery leather pencil skirt? I’ll take it. - [Alexandra Donaldson](https://wornstories.com/your_story/alexandra-donaldson/) - I stopped wearing the t-shirt about a year ago. Not because I had outgrown it or because I didn’t like it anymore. Because I was afraid that I was beginning to wear it to shreds. It’s the first article of clothing that I’ve stopped wearing well before I was ready to – most of my - [Rachel Cannon](https://wornstories.com/your_story/rachel-cannon/) - I have had this pair of trashed Vans for about four years. It seems almost everyone's pair of trashed Vans has stories about their adventures. I wore these black canvas shoes almost every day. I even wore them on a Florida beach and they still have some sand in them to this day. These shoes - [Carolita Johnson](https://wornstories.com/your_story/carolita-johnson/) - In 1988 I bought a beautiful pair of fine leather Mary Janes in Paris, with an inch and a half high block heel, rather closed up and high, with a thin strap that buttoned on the side in an old-fashioned eyelet and button style. The slightly elongated toe made them look like a Victorian doll's - [Maddy Hall](https://wornstories.com/your_story/maddy-hall/) - It all started when I was studying for my A-levels; a burning desire to travel the world settled itself in my brain. Partly as a chance to prove that despite being small in size, at a towering five feet and one-half inch, I was independent, brave and at least a little bit interesting. My father - [John Cathcart](https://wornstories.com/your_story/john-cathcart/) - Here lies a meaningful garment that spends its months hiding in my “other shirts” drawer. This relic is long past its prime, but we will never part. As if it is trying to check on me and refuel a certain strength I often need, we cross paths every once in a while and I am - [Emily Siegel](https://wornstories.com/your_story/emily-siegel/) - It hung on the rack in the upscale consignment store. It was brown leather with black details and a yellow leopard print interior. It was new with tags and it said it cost $1200. They were selling it for $300. It was D&G, Dolce & Gabbana. My paycheck from my job as a hostess at - [Bonnie Wertheim](https://wornstories.com/your_story/bonnie-wertheim/) - As the youngest in a lineage of fashionable females, I have been the recipient of many a fine hand-me-down. Great Grandma Bella, whom I never met, and Grandma Rose, who passed away when I was 4, left behind piles of costume jewelry. I don’t accessorize much, but when I do, it’s with baubles of crystalline - [Isabel Lara](https://wornstories.com/your_story/isabel-lara/) - On 9/11 after I heard the noise of the plane hitting the WTC, I quickly pulled on a pair of jeans, grabbed a gray t-shirt and went downstairs to the community TV to see the news. I never changed my clothes that day. We were told to evacuate the building, and a group of us - [Dorothy Handelman](https://wornstories.com/your_story/dorothy-handelman/) - Years ago, during a visit to my hometown of Cleveland Heights, Ohio, I found a wonderful vintage purse at a local thrift store, which I purchased without hesitating twice. Returning to my folks' house, I showed it proudly to my mother. She gave it a quick look and remarked dryly, "That's the bag I just - [Lynn Crothers](https://wornstories.com/your_story/lynn-crothers/) - A couple of years ago I bought a one-way ticket to northern Iceland. It was 2am and I just clicked the button. I was saying fuck yes to my intuition, but I was also running away. A few weeks prior, I had broken up with my boyfriend, moved out of his place. "Where was my home?" - [Natalie Guevara ](https://wornstories.com/your_story/natalie-guevara/) - This dress was given to me by my mom. She's had it since the early '90s and gifted it to me about two years ago when I requested that my wardrobe look more like I was on vacation all the time. (It was a very serious "career phase" I was going through, with lots of